Archive for the poems Category

Oh how I wish I were an actual pony.

Posted in my little pony, poems, posts, serious, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 04/01/2012 by handsomeoptimus

I told you I loved “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” to death and for a while I’ve been having these dreams. Dreams where I was a pony. I can just imagine, it, jumping around in fields, hanging out with the other ponies in the town of “Ponyville”, going on adventures trying to find the elements of Harmony, defeating the evil ponys, chatting it up with the ponies.

Oh how I wish I were a pony, If I were a pony I’d be cute.

If I were a pony I’d have millions of adoring fans.

If I were a pony I’d have special powers.

If I were a pony I’d be happy

And more importantly if I were a pony I’d be special.

Ah, how a man can dream. If only there were some sort of beam of light that would just come out of the TV screen and zap me to Ponyville, then I will be happy.

Dimitri Martin stole my thing!

Posted in poems, serious, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 04/01/2012 by handsomeoptimus

Back in 2003 I came up with “Toy Story 2 was OK” and it was based off a friends post and Ive been using it ever since. But now I look around and I see this and this!

How dare they do that, how dare Dimitri Martin steal my thing. That was my thing! I came up with that thing first! I should be credited for it, me, the person who came up with it! I demand someone go up to Comedy Central land and tell Dimitri Martin that “Toy Story 2 was Okay” was mine and that they should remove all signs of it from existence. I am the originator of the name, me me me!!!

Blog post 12: I miss the 80s

Posted in 80s, jokes, poems, posts, serious, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 04/01/2012 by handsomeoptimus

Oh how I miss the 80′s.

I miss the days when I was a kid.

I missed the days when I got toys.

I miss Atari.

I miss the gremlins.

I miss watching Star Wars for the first time.

I miss playing in the park with fun.

I miss all the dead bodies I saw.

I miss…

Why am I obsessing on this?

What have I done with my life?

Blog post 6: My ode to black humor.

Posted in poems, posts, serious, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 03/31/2012 by handsomeoptimus

Uh-huh…

Oh black humor so wonderfully black.
People always wondering what the hell is that.
With your subdued demeanor and your serious looks.
Talking about stuff that give people the look.
People can never truly understand.
But I can completely understand.
I love it, every bone is as black as my body.
The disturbing images always just rocks me.
I can’t stop laughing at this stuff.
Even though I should feel bad and stuff.
I guess I love hell & death more then other people.
And my understanding of black humor is far from mid-evil.
I guess a lot of people will never appreciate you.
But there are some people that just love you.

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